It’s Monday!! New week, new goals, new errthang! Hope you all had a fabulous weekend! I spent mine hanging with family and friends. We celebrated my sister’s fiancé’s birthday with an impromptu BBQ. Lord knows I didn’t know what to do with myself as I had just completed a killer workout with my trainer earlier that morning, so you know the struggle was real. If you don’t already know, I LOVE food! Don’t ever catch me when I’m hangry, lol! Once I say I’m hungry, my husband always throws in a sly joke about having to call 9-1-1 if we don’t get me some food soon. Hey, a girls gotta eat, right?! Anyway, I did pretty well with my intake. Somehow it always feels like my trainer is lurking over my shoulder so the guilt trip probably helped with that, lol.
Today, I really want to ask what you women think about balance. I attended a book signing event a few weeks back with Tiffany Dufu, author of Drop The Ball, and the topic of balance came up. I should add that leading up the the event, I kept encountering the notion of balance, whether it was through random conversation, a clip I came across on the internet, or my life itself. I was clearly in search of an answer.
What I had been hearing from successful entrepreneurs is that there is no balance. It’s all about prioritizing. When I started off on my journey of building a successful blogging business, so many fears began to settle in about how in the world I was going to balance it all; a mom, a wife, a business owner. I am extremely optimistic, so I did not allow it to weigh me down, I chose to push through and figure it out because I had faith that I could.
So back to the event, Tiffany began to read an excerpt from the book where she described an early moment in her marriage where tried to do it all with perfection to the point where it drove her to a frenzy; she thought going back to work after having a baby was going to be a piece of cake, only to be faced with engorged leaking boobs because she forgot to bring her pump to work (NOT FUN)! I sympathized with every word she read and breathed a sigh of relief knowing that someone was willing to speak the trials we women face trying to balance it all out loud.
I come from a Haitian household where I watched my mom balance her multiple roles simultaneously and effortlessly. When I try to replicate it, I don’t always feel like I come out winning; sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. I can do it all, but in doing so much something always suffers, which leads me to believe that no, there is no such thing as balance, but there is definitely such thing as prioritizing.
Embracing this has literally worked wonders. I’m so glad I went to the book signing to hear Tiffany explain how she allowed herself to “drop the ball” hence the name of her book. Meaning, she gave herself permission to leave things undone; though there could be consequences, it’s one she was prepared to face and regulate at a later time. On nights that I absolutely cannot find a second to cook, my husband helps me out and buys dinner for us. He can’t cook, so I love that he contributes the best way he knows how. He isn’t much of a health nut (that’s why he has me) so I always make sure he makes healthy decisions for us all.
I found that trying to have the perfect balance knocked the wind out of me and made me less efficient overall. Keeping things in order based on priority has kept the wheels turning much smoother. As women, I know we try so hard to keep up with everything and be the best even if it kills us. I urge you to give yourself permission to drop the ball. Our families need an efficient woman not one who is running on empty fumes. Though I haven’t finished the book it’s an awesome read so far. I think every woman should own it. To buy it for yourself or gift it to a girlfriend you can purchase, here.
What does balance mean to you?